The material was prepared by Anna Musakhanova – a certified , psychologist-consultant and coach. The term “toxicity” has become very, even too, popular lately. At the same time, toxicity can mean completely different things to each of us. However, one thing is clear: when we talk about toxic people, we imagine communication after which at least one of the participants feels uncomfortable, empty, or even humiliated. Whatever we put into this concept, the connotation here is always negative.
PCM Methodology – How It Can Be Useful, How It Works
Let’s analyze toxic behavior from the PCM (Process Communication Model) perspective. The author of the method is clinical psychologist Taibi Kaler. For more than half a century, the method has been used by various companies: Apple, Microsoft, BMW, Pixar, Yandex, Sberbank. It was created to increase the efficiency and comfort in interpersonal communication, prevent conflicts and burnout, and better understand yourself and others. The basis of PCM is the six different personality types present in every person. Each of us has a basic or primary personality type, which is characteristic of us to the greatest extent. The other five are present in varying proportions: we have more of something, less of something. In everyday life, we can see how a person clearly demonstrates manifestations of two or three personality types.
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Personality Types and How to Deal with Them
First, let’s figure out what “toxicity” means. When we label someone as toxic, what do we mean? Are they born toxic? Are they always like this or are they just sometimes? Is it a consequence of something? You’ve probably heard that there are four life positions: “I’m OK, You’re OK,” “I’m OK, You’re Not OK,” “I’m Not OK, You’re OK,” and “I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK.” Only the first of these involves healthy communication, which has no place for blaming, attacking, or self-deprecating. In all other cases, we exhibit elements of toxicity. Each personality type has predictable behavior under stress and exhibits toxicity of a different kind. Knowing which personality types are most “native” to us or our loved ones, we can anticipate manifestations of toxicity and use a set of tools to prevent falling into the stress funnel.
Personality type Logician
Responsible, disciplined, logical thinker. The Logician places high demands on himself and his colleagues, expecting the same clear, structured approach to solving problems. His psychological need is recognition of expertise and time management. Behavior under stress is an attack on colleagues. The Logician’s typical remark: “How can you 5 best code snippet plugins not understand this?” The Logician often gets excited quickly and attacks the opponent in a rather aggressive manner. Naturally, this destabilizes the situation within the team or department. With the Logician, it is worth building communication through questions, asking clarifying questions to clarify what his expectations are. “What would you like to see as a result of this work?” “What are your specific expectations?” It would not be superfluous to praise the Logician for his expertise (in fact, he has something to praise for) and try not to fall behind schedule and not change plans, this puts the Logician into stress and leads to hypercontrol on his part.
Personality type Stubborn
Observant, devoted, conscientious. The Persistent One seeks meaning in all his activities. He is capable of changing the world, because he has a lot of righteous energy. He devotes his life to some idea, mission, be it family, work or service. His psychological need is recognition of his opinion. Behavior under stress, like that of the Logician, is an attack. “Isn’t it clear that such mistakes are unacceptable?” He expects perfection from others. The Persistent One alb directory criticizes colleagues under stress, concentrating on the negative and not noticing the good. Of course, this unsettles, there is a feeling that all achievements are devalued. Clarify Uporny’s point of view, engage in discussions, try to understand him, even if you stand on different banks. Praise him for his contribution to the business he is engaged in. Do not interrupt Uporny, let him finish speaking, otherwise a clash cannot be avoided.
Personality type Soulful
Empathetic, sensitive, caring. Perceives the world through emotions and sensations. Ready to help and support. Doesn’t like direct conflicts, can make decisions that go against his desires and interests, but with the goal of making others happy. Psychological need – recognition of his personality and satisfaction of sensory needs. Under stress, feels like a victim and asks himself: “What’s wrong with me?” Shows toxicity towards himself, paints negativity, feels unloved and rejected. And this is reflected in the appearance – tears may appear in the eyes, the corners of the lips droop slightly, and the voice becomes somewhat whiny. Tell Dushevny how important he is to you, how great it is to have him around. Support him in situations when he feels insecure. Sometimes just offering him a cup of tea is enough to make Dushevny straighten his shoulders.
Personality type Dreamer
Calm, thoughtful, with a rich imagination. Often immersed in his thoughts, in his world. Delicate, enters into communication out of necessity. Psychological need – solitude. Rarely shares his feelings that he experiences inside. Does not seek company, but in moderate quantities he likes to be among people. Can invent something that did not exist before, a visionary. Under stress, like the Soulful, he feels like a victim, completely loses initiative, leaves tasks unfinished, withdraws from communication. At the same time, unlike the Soulful, his stress is less noticeable, all experiences occur inside. Approach the Dreamer with motivating sentences. “Write!” “Imagine!” “Tell me how you see it.” Provide opportunities for privacy – online work, time alone.
Rebel personality type
Spontaneous, cheerful, creative. Lives here and now. Cannot stand boredom and routine work. Can find unconventional solutions. Tests the boundaries of what is permitted. Psychological need – play contact, so interacts well with different groups of people. When stressed – blames, showing toxicity by shifting responsibility for his actions and his emotional state to others. Never guilty. Make a joke. Yes, that’s easy. With a Rebel, you need to defuse the situation through a game, a joke. Make sure the Rebel is not bored. Sometimes work requires concentration and great diligence, then it makes sense to suggest an idea for a cool wrap-up party. But what you definitely shouldn’t do is lecture.
Personality type Doer
Charming, resourceful, flexible. Doesn’t like inaction, needs to be involved and feel the rhythm of life. Craves success and rushes towards it at full speed. Psychological need – excitement, so slowing down the pace and the lack of interesting large-scale tasks leads to stress.
Toxicity manifests itself through manipulation, arrogant behavior, calling on others to prove that they are capable of something, and playing the dare. Talk as an equal, without giving in to pressure. Compliment your colleague on some unique trait. Doers love compliments. Offer a task that will engage the Doer and promise solid dividends.
